Blog Archives

You Have the Right to Remain Silent.

En Silence by Melanie Delon

 

“Silence is a source of great strength,” Lao Tzu.

Silence.  Sometimes nothing can be more beautiful for a writer.  At other times, silence can be disturbing. 
 
If you are like methat is having no life, you may understand what I meant by that.  I often feel like I know why a majority of writers around the Victorian era were alcoholics.  They didn’t have facebook. 
 
I am a recluse.  I live in the sticks, as they call it around where I live.  I used to live about 10 miles from town.  As the world grows smaller, I only need to drive about two miles to go the grocery store or get gas.  Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised to wake up one morning with a Subway in my front yard. 
 
I believe those of us who choose to write are a different breed of human.  Where some only see big picture, we can see the individual molecules that create the scene of the whole.  We are able replicate the picture realistically, or distort into an Urban Fantasy. 
 
Though our work and passion is lonely in nature, we are all inspired by the calamity of life.  Of course, we distort and rearrange details so that we are not held liable in court for making an impression of a living person or place.  God forbid, Aunt Mary believes she’s entitled to the little bit of money we do make because she turns up in the pages of our book, or your ex feel that you’re slandering them in your new romantic novel about infidelity; especially since the bastard cheated on you a million times over with your best friend. 
 
A writer’s work is filtered through personal perspective.  Even journalist have a hard time remaining objective.  However, what about our subjects? 
 
I am pretty fond of Cindy Adam’s Writer’s Miranda Writes for Their Subjects.  I original read this in article in Writer’s Digest in 2008, I believe, and I have chosen to share with you. 
 
     1 . You have the right to remain silent and refuse to answer questions. Do you understand that I will make stuff up, with or without your input?
 
2. Anything you do say may be used in my next project. Do you understand that my opinion of you will affect how others perceive you?

3. You have the right to consult an attorney … now or in the future. Do you understand that if you seek legal action you will be, in effect, admitting you’re guilty of the actions and/or behavior of said character?

4. If you can’t afford an attorney, tough. Do you understand that I’m counting on it?

5. If you decide to answer questions, or otherwise continue our relationship, you’ll still have the right to stop answering questions at any time. Do you understand that I’ll still make stuff up?

6. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you still willing to be my friend?  

 Do our friends have the right to know when a character in a story is based on them, or should we leave them to wonder?

 

Adams, Cindy. “Writer’s Miranda Rights for Their Subjects”.  Writer’sDigest.Com.  2008. 

 

Some clues from a drug addict to help a drug addict rid an addiction.

I have been free of an addiction for almost a year, but I dare not call myself liberated.  The demon crawls on the edge of my conscience every day.  Some days are worse than others.  But the biggest realization is that I made it through withdrawal-hell with the love of my family, my openness to proper medical staff and myself, and with the last piece of confidence left inside me. 

No one understands what it’s like to live under the gun.  That’s what you basically do each time you shoot, snort, or drink your veins filthy black, place a gun to your head and play Russian Roulette.  For a long time it feels better than anything you could ever do or accomplish, until you realize your mind is eroded with a gun to your temple and your world’s crashing.  No one seems to care about a person when the addiction takes them.

That is who I hope to respond today.  Those with a family member who way out of control.  Those addicts the world has given up on.  Those people in your family that deserves your love more-so than ever. 

It’s easy to give up on someone when you see their life spinning out of control.  I know people turned their backs as I did.  I was addicted to oxys, more than 200 mg’s a day or so, if I could obtain it.  I became hooked after I returned home from Operation Iraqi Freedom and it started out because I wanted to numb my mind from the things I witnessed.  As my addiction grew over the years, people stopped talking to me as my physical appearance changed with my behavior.  I didn’t recognize the change because I was in a hell that looked like heaven.   

My wife became dependant on my addiction to Percocet.  I could not function without them.  I grew callous, absorbed; I stopped doing things.  She should have left me is what she tells me people tell her.  And maybe, she should have.  But if it hadn’t been for her I would have been dead right now. 

Toward the end of it all, when I was seeing what the pills I snorted were doing to me, if it hadn’t been for her love of me I wouldn’t have been able to walk myself into a doctor’s office and ask for help.  I remember it was a Monday when she led me by my trembling hand. 

Sometimes, that’s all it takes.  Love, with a hand.  If a person is ready to rid the poisons out of their life they must be ready, if not, go beyond and fight for their life.  No matter if you’re hated for it.  I would rather be hated and know that someone is alive and well. 

There are a variety of clinics out there.  You must understand when someone has taken a drug or drank until their genetic code is dependent on that, then that person may have to take a pseudo-narcotic in a step off, or down, plan.  It can be expensive, but if that person is purchasing $700 a month in pills or beer, what can $700 a month hurt to help your loved one break that addiction and begin living a productive life. 

This is something that takes time and reserves of strength from not only the addict, but people around him or her.  There is going to be slip ups.  And that is ok, as long as the addict is open and honest about why they did it and knows that because they slipped it doesn’t mean they have to binge.

Heroin and pain meds seem to be out doing crack and meth on the streets by a long shot.  Suboxone and Methodone are great alternatives to combat this addiction.  I did Suboxone, which my doctor claimed was a better option because Methodone is more addicting and has a longer withdrawal rate.  I beat my addiction with Suboxone in less than six months, though I was scheduled for a year.  I wanted nothing more than to be clean. 

Since being clean, my appearance and thought process have improved greatly.  I have found ways to be high on life.  I have gotten more work done.  Remember your addict may have changed, but that is the drug masking their personality. 

I am willing to talk with anyone with an addiction or anyone who wants to help someone they love conquer an addiction.  Remember it takes love, willingness, and patience.  Going clean cannot happen without these three things.