So Hard Lately

“It is in vain to say human beings ought to be satisfied with tranquillity: they must have action; and they will make it if they cannot find it.” ~ Charlotte Bronte

  Lately it’s been hard for me to get around to write, and it feels like my soul is crumbling from the inside out.  One week though, one week, and I will be able to write all day long, aside from duties as a “house husband”.   Yes.  I said it, house husband.  I am going on week three without a job.

   I lost my job back on April 7th.  Do you want to know why?  I wrote a story about harassment in the work place and my employer went over the top taking it as a threat.  I have had many people tell me that my 1st amendment rights have been violated, and I am pretty sure they have.  For a few years I was harassed, by some particular individuals.  About the middle of March it became intolerable.  I went to my superviser about it and nothing was done. 

   The week prior to my termination I wrote my story.  It was personal to me.  It did contain dialogue of harassing and discrimanating things I have heard, but did not contain any physical, or actual references to any names or people.  It was based in a plant.  I write horror, and dark literary, or psychological fiction.  The narrative stays within the boundaries of those lines.  At the end, my protagonist has a delusion about murdering some people, and then kills himself.

   I made the mistake of posting it on Facebook for my wife to read.  Something for her to do on her break that would give up some small talk over the weekend.  However, I forgot to take it down and it ended up in the hands of human resourses.  Every effort was made by my ex-employer to interpret it as a threat.  It wasn’t.

   It was a writer, blowing off some steam by way of creative imagination, solely for his spouse’s pleasure.  I cannot say how sorry I am to anyone I have offended because this whole thing went as far as being investigated, and I would rather not be around them anyway.  

   But the fact remains I didn’t email to anyone, I havn’t tried to make a sale, nor did I threaten, solicit, or select anyone out.  My theme was haressment in the work place, and the inner turmoil of someone who goes to work everyday just to be made fun of because they are different, educated, and supportive of the human race as one entity of being. 

   Still the conequences are there.  I lost my job in a time when the economy just isn’t happening and I live in a town where the job market is extra slim.  I do plan to use this time wisely.  I am going to use it to kickstart my career by building the foundations of my writing career.

   I have been fortunate to have already made a few aquitences.  I appreciate the help, the tips and advice, I have received from them.  One in particular, a brilliant, young fantasy author named J. S. Chancellor has been awesome and has my greatest praise.  Her blog, Welcome To The Asylum, is posted in my links and you will not regret checking out her work.

   Well I hope by next week I will be able to finish my latest short story, The Living Wood.  Hopefully those voices inside will stop screaming at me.  It will definately help this COD I am going through right now, and I can start picking up those little chunks of my soul and putting the pieces back together.  I still hope the pieces fit.

H. D. Sharpe

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Posted on April 26, 2010, in Lunacy or Madness?. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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